HELLISH HOMEWORK IN HIBERNATION.
(A memoir from the Life of the Universe)
The Universe utters a sigh of despair and desperation. ‘Frequency’ and ‘Scintillating’ might have had a tenuous connection two months back, but in today’s world there is no place for them in Hibernation’s lexicon, “Quite clearly, in spite of millennia of verbal challenges, the despotic wordsmiths of today have learn absolutely nothing,” she says to herself.
” I suppose I could throw in “pandemic” for ‘frequent’ and declare the other abomination an oxymoron”. She paused. as a new thought entered her mighty brain Perhaps it would be a better idea to flood the galaxy with contrarians.
She continues to ruminate about the sorry state of affairs around her particular slice of eternity.
“What might hibernation have to offer these naysayers?” she wonders.
“At very least it means ‘dormant’ but ‘doing nothing’ is not the contrarian way. They need to agitate, irritate, annoy or even anger the dominant paradigm. It would seem then, that plotting to liven up the enforced shut down is a priority. They, above all others, know that pearls come only from irritated oysters.
” The flood of one liners currently dominating the net is a good place to start to share. Like putting a litter tray from the cat’s box where the toilet paper used to be, or comments like “I bet aliens lock their doors when they are passing Earth.” And, ‘Wouldn’t it be ironic if Trump fell victim to a Chinese virus named after a Mexican beer?’
The issue of boredom will eventually loom large with television on its own becoming even more so by virtue of the extra time available for ads. Similarly, clever texting soon runs out of steam with all that remains being a bigger heap of acronyms.
Of course, the wily wordsmiths will pontificate about “Ain’t it Awful” or “Look What You’ve Done to Me Now!” games, but the contrarians will win the battle, if not the war and we’ll get back to relevance, truth and all that other stuff of which memoirs are made. Yes, half the world’s population in the Contrarian Army. Then we would have something to look forward to, as we end a sentence with a preposition!
“I’ll do it!” (triumphantly.) “Now, let there be light!”